Every tiny details in my life used to matter to me a lot. I was grateful, happy and content. But now, nothing really matters to me anymore.
I’m not sure what exactly changed. In general, people change. People change constantly. They can even contradict statements now that they have lived by few years ago.
I think what changed with me has something to do with age or the matter of fact that I have been alone with my thoughts for a long time during quarantine or that I was not able to use travel as escape mechanism from all my thoughts or the fact that I realised that death is inevitable no matter who you are or what you have or how you live.
Does anything really matters at all? Is there life after death? If death is inevitable, why do we really live? Has anyone ever found the reason for our existence? No one really knows anything. We grow up as a baby to an adult hoping that you will understand things as you age. But do you really?
Before all this thoughts creeped up on my mind, I used to pick a side whenever there was a debate going on or I see a argument going on. Now, all I want, is to shout at everyone -“It doesn’t matter!”,at the top of my lungs. Why do we have to suffer, prove ourselves of worthiness only to die at the end?
It’s all just a shout in the void.